There is one thing in our lives that remains constant . . . change! Some changes are good and some bring sadness. Sometimes we're filled with excitement, sometimes dread. No matter what the change, there is a process we go through to successfully handle change.

Change is an event that's situational and continual-- the new boss, the new relationship, the new house, the new job. In his book, Managing Transitions-- Making the Most of Change, William Bridges defines transition as "the process people go through coming to terms with the new situation." He explains, "change is external," or comes from outside of ourselves. It can be forced or something we choose to do. "Transition is internal." It's our emotional reaction and attitude we use in deciding to accept, adapt or resist change. Transition usually starts with an ending or the realization that things aren't going to stay the same. In order for us to move forward and have some control over the outcome, we need to let go of the past and start exploring all our options and opportunities.

Prior to a change, we were comfortable because our situation was familiar. We resist change due to fear of the unknown. As we move toward new roles and routines, we may experience feelings of fear, anger, sadness or resistance as well as relief, hope or excitement. It may feel confusing and chaotic, but it can also be a time of creativity and challenge. What we do with these feelings makes the difference. When we're able to find something positive or see possibilities, we'll have energy and motivation to take the next step.

We choose how to respond to our thoughts and feelings. This determines our behavioral or emotional reaction to change, whether positive or negative. Think of a recent change you've experienced. What were your thoughts and feelings? How did they influence your reaction? What did you do to get through it?

Attitude is everything. It's important to take responsibility for our attitude, because it can give us strength and control during change.

Author and multimillionaire W. Clement Stone said, "What the mind can conceive and believe, it can achieve with a positive mental attitude." This is contrary to the current expression, "to have an attitude," which has an opposite or negative effect. Attitudes are like a magnet. Negative attitudes attract negative results. Positive attitudes attract positive results. Life isn't what happens to you, but how you respond to it. You're in charge of your attitude.

Our attitude, whether positive or negative, shows in the career decision-making and job search process. Many employers say attitude is more important than experience or education. They often use attitude as the tiebreaker between two equally qualified candidates.

We cannot change the past or how others act, but we can change our attitude. William James, the father of modern psychology, said, "The most important discovery of our time is that we can alter our lives by altering our attitudes." If we learn to manage our attitudes, we won't feel paralyzed and the benefits will follow.

Whether you're unemployed, underemployed, employed but looking for a new job, entering the workforce for the first time, or entering the workforce after a long absence, you're facing change. Change causes transition, and transition starts with an ending. For example, a relationship ends, a job ends, you move, you graduate or you lose your financial support. Change affects our emotions. You may feel relief, anticipation or renewal, or you may feel anger, sadness, fear, depression or confusion. These feelings are natural. Sometimes when endings happen, we grieve. You will survive, but it takes time. Don't deny these feelings, but also don't be driven by them. As you move through transition and accept the facts and find new options, you will feel energetic, productive and hopeful again.

• You're more employable with a positive attitude
• You can be a positive role-model for your children and others
• Your self-esteem will increase along with productivity
• You will have more energy to pursue your goals and dreams
• You will have a better lifestyle for the future

• Find meaningful work that fits your skills
• Return to school to learn new skills
• Start your own business
• Follow a dream you have always had
• Re-evaluate your goals and spend time with family
• Meet new people and learn new things
• The possibilities are endless. Look for them. Make change work for you.

We are all unique and have different concerns about employment.

Roberta is laid off from a major corporation that she worked at for 21 years. She is concerned about finding another job with similar pay and benefits at her age.

Marla has been out of the workforce for 10 years. She is concerned about finding affordable childcare, maintaining health benefits, and getting transportation to work.

Terry just graduated from an auto mechanics course at a vocational technical college. He wonders how he will fit in with the experienced mechanics.

Mark is a recently separated veteran with an amputated left arm. He is concerned about marketing his skills and getting a job with his military experience as a radio operator.

What are your issues or concerns about finding a good career fit and work?

When finding yourself in a change situation with your career or job, you may be experiencing transition in several different areas. That's why it's crucial to create and maintain a structure for you. It will help you stay motivated, on task, and see the steps you need to take to make progress.

Perhaps one of the most important things lost or changed when unemployment occurs is structure.

• Set an alarm clock to get up at your regular time
• Dress as you would for work
• Set aside a place in your home where you do all your job search activity
• Get out of the house and go to the Job Zone, to the library, or meet with a network contact

The following scenarios show how jobs affect our structure and routine and the impact they have on our lives.

Larry called his coworker, Linda, to talk about the class they are teaching next week. After that, he made dinner, ate, walked the dog and fell asleep watching television. He awoke remembering he needed to go to work early to catch up on some paperwork. He made his lunch, took a shower, set his alarm for an hour earlier than normal and climbed into bed. When the alarm rang, he got out of bed and tried to decide what he should wear. He asked himself, "What do I need to do today? Am I seeing customers? Am I teaching class? Do I have meetings to attend? What is the weather going to be like?"

Carla has just accepted her first job, having completed computer training at a vocational school. She is very excited and happy about this opportunity. However, she realizes this means she will need to make some changes to be successful in this job. While she was in school, her 4-year-old daughter was enrolled in the daycare program at school. They took the bus to school three days a week. While Carla was a student, she was able to wear jeans and did not have to arrive until 8:30 a.m.

What will Carla need to do before she starts her new job? Who does she need to contact? What information and arrangements does she need to make before she starts her new job? How did a job change the structure and routine in Larry's and Carla's lives? How would it change your present life structure?

Just think of all the things done or said in these scenarios that are structured by Larry's or Carla's jobs. Job responsibilities dictate when we get up, how we get there and what clothes we wear. The job may determine where, when and with whom we eat lunch, and the amount of time we spend away from our children. It also sets the time when we run errands, do laundry, eat supper and go to bed! When our job situation changes, our routine and lifestyle sometimes change or are even lost.

Therefore, it's a good idea to plan ahead, anticipate change and prepare for the transitions we'll go through. This will help us to take positive action, get organized, and accept change in our daily routine when employed.

While you're unemployed, your family life may be disrupted. Even though you have more time to spend with your family, you feel the constant burden to find a job. Your family isn't used to you being at home, and vice versa. They may experience feelings of fear, anger, and confusion about your job situation. Also, sometimes in an attempt to keep things the same or protect family members' feelings, you avoid talking about your feelings, asking for their ideas or taking steps to accommodate this situation.

In actuality, it may be an opportunity for a spouse or another member of the household to get a job and develop a career. Children can learn how to earn their own spending money with paper routes, etc., and adult children can take out college loans or pay rent.

When people go to work for the first time, their families and children may need to get used to new routines, tight schedules, getting up earlier, or attending daycare. They will need to adjust to the fact that you aren't always at home. This can cause chaos for a while, but with time, they will adjust. Their self-esteem may be increased through independence and responsibility.

Your job situation may affect your social life. If you've worked at a particular place for a long time, you may have been through many stressful, difficult situations with co-workers. Fellow employees are often close friends. After a job loss, that daily contact may be broken. And, if they're still working, they may be feeling guilty about being employed while you struggle to find a new job. It isn't a comfortable situation for either of you. So, if you do contact them by phone or meet with them for lunch, you may sense some tension or a feeling that the relationship has changed. The reality is, it has.

If you're new to or haven't been in the labour market for a while, your social life also changes. Leaving the comfort and security of home, school, friends and neighbours is difficult and frightening at first. However, once you're on the job, you will meet new friends and may discover strengths in yourself that may not have been recognized before, like persistence, promptness, resourcefulness, flexibility, dedication, a good phone manner or a positive attitude.

A job change may affect your ability to support yourself or your family. Your income determines your ability to pay bills, buy groceries, pursue your hobbies or enjoy leisure time. Not having enough money to pay bills adds stress. If you don't deal with this stress, the pressure builds and builds until something just has to give! Developing and keeping a budget will ease your transition through this time and also into the future.

What we do for a living often defines who we are. When meeting a person for the first time, the question usually asked is, "What do you do?" It's as if by knowing what job a person has, we then know who the person is! What a conversation stopper when you answer, "I'm between jobs right now," or "I'm unemployed," or "I've been a student or a homemaker. Now I'm looking for work, but I don't know where or how to find a job because I have no job search or work experience." However, once you have a job, these feelings will change. You will feel you belong.

New opportunities, challenges, and rewards come with change. However, with change also comes loss. As with any loss, you may experience varying degrees of sadness, anger or relief. Trying to move on without recognizing and dealing with the feelings and emotions that arise will make your job search very difficult.

Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, a renowned author and psychiatrist, researched what happens when people suffer loss. She identified five stages of grief that can be similar whenever we feel we have lost something or someone who is important to us. The stages also apply to what you might experience when you lose a job. The person new to the labour market, a recent graduate, recently separated or divorced, or a person with a disability who was unable to work can experience loss of their routine or lifestyle when they begin a job.

Although this is called a cycle, not everyone experiences the emotional ride. However, it's very significant for some, with many ups and downs. You may experience all these emotions or any number of them. Each person's process is unique. The way you handle this process depends on your attitude. Just remember that you must handle this transition before you can move on with your career decision-making or job search.

 

Change can be difficult for many.

"I know they'll call me back. They'll find out how much I contributed and realize that they can't continue without me."

"My financial support will continue or will be extended."

"It's all the company's, the manager's or the government's fault."

"I have the right to be really angry about what they did to me. In fact, I was treated so badly, I'm going to stay angry for a long, long time!"

"I'll show them that they can't treat me like that! I'm not even going to look for work and see how they like that. I'm just going to collect benefits. They owe me."

Self-Blame/Depression

"If only I . . . It's all my fault that I'm in this predicament. I'll never get another job. I don't have enough education. I'm not good enough. I'm too slow. I don't have any skills, experience or the right clothes to get a job."

"I'm so worthless. I can't do anything right. I don't even want to get out of bed today. I don't know what is wrong with me. No wonder I can't find a job! Who would want to hire me? I've never done anything before. There are many other people out there who have the experience and education."

"I should've seen it coming."

Struggle

"I guess it's time to face the reality that I may need to lower my wage and job expectations. I haven't had much luck finding jobs that will pay me what I was making before, and the jobs in my field seem to have disappeared. When I do get an interview, something always goes wrong."

"I try to be positive, but it's so hard. Sometimes I just don't know what I'm going to do. Maybe if I send out enough resumes, I'll get a job."

New Hope

"What can I learn from this? I accept the facts as they truly are, and I'm ready to move on."

"My old job isn't there. I have skills, abilities and talents. I'll find something, maybe even better, or I'll try something new."

One thing to remember is each person goes through change differently. The time spent in each stage will vary, as will the sequence of the stages. No matter how the process plays itself out in your life, it's the right process for you. Also remember "this too shall pass," if you allow yourself the time to deal with each stage.

Things That Have Changed

Let's examine the way you're feeling about your employment situation. Now is the time to be truly honest about those feelings.

Many of us were taught that if we worked hard, gave 110 percent to the employer, went the extra mile and did our very best, the company would take care of us and we'd enjoy a comfortable retirement. Suddenly, that was no longer the way companies did things. More and more employers let long-term employees go. Along with the layoff comes the cancellation of life, health and dental insurance. The pension some of us were counting on to make retirement dreams come true ends up being spent to pay bills for health insurance, mortgage, and car payments. This isn't at all what we expected. And even if this wasn't your plan, whatever happened to being treated fairly?

If you're new to the labor market or haven't worked for a while, you might wonder where the decent paying jobs are. You're ready, available and looking for work, but there are no jobs.

The exercises in this handout ask you to take an honest look at where you are in the process. They cover some very personal feelings. Therefore, complete them in a place where you feel safe. The exercises don't need to be finished in any given order and they can be "for your eyes only."

Say or write down what's on your mind about your last job. This doesn't have to be sensible or logical . . . no one else needs to see this. How do you feel about your job situation? Write what you're feeling. Don't censor yourself; just let it out. (If you're having trouble identifying your feelings, the words listed below might be helpful.)

What changes have occurred in your life over the past 12 months and how do you feel about these changes? The changes may have occurred in your employment situation or in other areas of your life. No matter what the changes may have been, it's valid to look at how you feel about them.

"To exist is to change, to change is to mature,

to mature is to go on creating oneself endlessly."

Henri Bergson, French philosopher

Perceptions + Thoughts + Feelings = Reactions

What Perceptions produced the Thoughts?

What Thoughts produced the Emotions?

Are my Response effective or ineffective?

PART 2: Tips on Managing Feelings

Adapted from Department of Employment & Economic Development
Minnesota, USA